“I hate myself.”
Larry (name changed) sat in a motel room on East Colfax, a street in Denver, Colorado, notorious for drugs and prostituion. Larry had a rough childhood. His mom struggled with drug addiction. Growing up, he was sexually abused and had nowhere safe to go for help. He turned to drugs, alcohol, and gambling instead.
For years, Larry could manage the addictions. But then he lost control. His marriage crumbled. He was no longer able to see his daughter. He had no home.
“Drugs were controlling him and his life had spiraled, leaving him in a (motel) room on Colfax, desolate, destitute and desperate,” said Shawn Sikkema, a Resonate Global Mission partner ministry leader that you help to support.
Shawn and his wife, Diane, started Jesus on Colfax Ministries with support from Resonate and other churches and organizations. Shawn, Diane, and their team minister with people along East Colfax, especially those who live in the motels and on the street. That’s how Shawn met Larry. And that day, Larry was at a breaking point.
“I hate myself,” Larry said over and over again.
But Shawn was able to provide Larry with comfort and encouragement. Shawn listened to Larry share about his addictions. His shame. His hatred for himself.
“I told him I understood the feeling, had experienced my own times of disappointment, even disgust with myself and my inability to change a behavior or attitude,” said Shawn. “Like most of us, I had moments when I found myself saying, ‘I hate myself.’”
But because you believe in the power of God’s transforming love, Larry didn’t have to sit alone in his hatred that day. Because of your support of ministry leaders like Shawn through Resonate, Shawn was able to share the gospel with Larry.
“I told him that while he may hate himself, God doesn’t hate him,” said Shawn. “That God meets him where he is, as he is, and loves him. A hard thing to believe when consumed with self-hatred, but I (started) sowing the seed, knowing that unless he knows the kind heart of God, he has little hope.”
Shawn spent a long time listening to and talking with Larry. He encouraged Larry to seek help for his addictions and told him about the 12-step approach that could help him recover. Larry took the first step that day: acknowledging that addiction had made his life unmanageable.
Before leaving, Shawn prayed for Larry. He prayed that Jesus would reveal himself to Larry. And again, Shawn told Larry that God loves him.
“He will need to hear that truth many times before it sinks in,” said Shawn.
Thank you for supporting this ministry. Shawn, Resonate, and Jesus on Colfax Ministries will continue to be there for Larry and other people living on the streets or in motel rooms on East Colfax. People who struggle with addiction. People who feel unloved. Your support of Resonate makes it possible to meet people wherever they are in life, share God’s love with them, and walk with them on difficult roads.
Will you please pray for Larry? Ask the Holy Spirit to comfort, encourage, and strengthen him as he takes steps towards recovery. Pray for healing. Pray that Larry will know in his heart that he is a beloved child of God.